But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
