So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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