I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
