Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
