I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
