i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
