Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
