your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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