ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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