so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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