i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We have so much sex to catch up on
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
