she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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