apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize