Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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