I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
