so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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