he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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