apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
