I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
