Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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