if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she peed on how many people?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
