yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
