Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
