Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
