I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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