I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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