y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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