Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
