Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
