At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
