first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
