My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
