Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
