when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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