He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You did what with his pubic hair?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
