It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
