Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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