these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do vagina's smell?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
