I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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