guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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