Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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