dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
