I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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