I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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