Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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