Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
