my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize