That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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