Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
