I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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