I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
