No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I have vodka in my lungs
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
As shirtless as possible
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
