I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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