I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
