I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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