We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
