Can Purell be used as lube?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We need to rekindle our bromance
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
