Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
