dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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