And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
